From Dan’s new video - 5 Kinds of Drunk People
these were a lot less hilarious and a lot more horrifically traumatic than you may imagine
oh my fucking god, this is brilliant.
Nicki Minaj sounds like a gay Jay-Z when her songs are slowed down. This is my new favorite thing ever.
I stumbled across this song - it’s a bonus track on the Much Ado About Nothing soundtrack. It’s bloody hilarious.
Catherine: How long is this gonna take?
David: Here we go!
Catherine: Don’t make me do this.
David: Oh, you’re gonna love it!
David: We’re like a branch and its vine
Catherine: Like a drunk and his wine
David: Like the leaves and the breeze
Catherine: Fatty food and disease
David: And like a sheep and a lamb
Catherine: Like a pig and a ham
David: We go together —
Catherine: Can I go now? …can I just…?
David: Just like Shakespeare and verse
Catherine: Like a corpse and a hearse
David: Like a song and a dance
Catherine: Like the English and France
David: Like a Persian and rugs
Catherine: Like a headache and drugs
Both: We go together, you and I
David: We go together like the news and the weather
We fit like hand in glove
Catherine: For now and forever
David: Just like birds of a feather
We fly so high above
We stick together like the earth and the sun
Catherine: Like a dentist and fun
David: We go like honey and bees
Catherine: Like a mold on a cheese
David: And like a bird and its nest
Catherine: Like a clown and depressed
Both: We go together, you and I
David: Wait for it, wait for it!
[horn solo. At the end David stops and gasps for breath]
Catherine: *What* was THAT?!
David: That was me playing with my old horn!
Catherine: Oh. Shouldn’t you wait ‘til I’ve gone?
David: Ah, feels so good to hold it again!
Catherine: Well, you’ve not had it out in ages!
David: D’you want a go with it?
Catherine: I’m not putting that in my mouth!
Catherine: We go together and we know that whatever
We’re stuck like nails and glue
David: There’s nothing can sever
Such a well-made endeavour as me —
Catherine: — And me
David: — And you
Catherine: I guess it’s true
We’re like a yawn and a dream
David: Like a cherry on cream
Catherine: Like the wind and a kite
David: Now you’ve got it, all right!
Catherine: We’re like a parent and child!
David: Like a — sorry, what?!
Catherine: We go together, you and I
David: You and me
Catherine: We go together, me and you
David: That’s right, we do!
Both: We go together… you and I!
David: Ah! See, I told you you’d enjoy yourself!
Catherine: Yeah! …It’s smaller than I thought, though.
David: …Are you still talking about my horn?
source for lyrics
oh look it’s the play that got me into shakespeare
eXCUSE ME WHY IS THERE NO DOCTOR WHO MUSICAL WHAT THE HELL THEY CAN ALL SING AND PLAY INSTRUMENTS AND DANCE AND ACT AND I WANT A SOUNDTRACK
EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW AND LISTEN TO THIS
Oh god, I’ve been laughing at this for the last 5 minutes!
WE WERE WATCHING THIS MOVIE IN GYM AND THE MAIN CHARACTER WAS LIKE “I’M TIRED AND HUNGRY AND HORNY” AND ME AT THIS OTHER CUTE GUY IN THE BACK JUST BOTH GO “SAME” AND LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND I WINKED AND EVERYONE WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE BUT I WAS LAUGHING REALLY HARD AND THIS IS WHY I DONT HAVE FRIENDS
can we have a tumblr marriage for you guys?
my favourite picture on tumblr ever
I AM LAUGHING SO HARD BECAUSE I THOUGHT OF 22 AND I SAID “TOOTY TWO” OUT LOUD AT 4AM OH GOD
THREETY THREE THOUG H
FORTY FOUR TH-
Merlin is over
And Hogwarts is too
Sam and Dean’s battle
Is almost through
Donna is gone
The Ponds are as well
John is sad
Because Sherlock fell
In case you were having
A good sort-of day
I wrote you this poem
To chase it away.
Am I the only one who sung this in my head to the tune of the “llama llama duck” song?
Unfortunately, this is a real restaurant and that is a real response. Their page was not hacked and thus trolled (that I know of). The owners are just really crazy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6LY7TJ16pg
holy FUCK watch that video
i just watched that video (and the part 2). unbelievable
I’m like 7 minutes in and jesus christ
HOLY BALLS, I SAW THE FULL EPISODE ABOUT THIS TRAIN-WRECK OF A RESTAURANT.
GORDON RAMSAY LEFT THE RESTAURANT WITHOUT CHANGING IT BECAUSE HE SAID HE WAS SCARED AND DISTURBED BY THE PLACE AND IT’S OWNERS.
LET ME REPEAT THAT.
GORDON FUCKING RAMSAY SAID HE WAS SCARED AND DISTURBED BY HOW VICIOUS THE OWNERS ARE.
THIS IS FUCKING HILARIOUS OH MY GOD
I have never seen an episode of any show with Gordon Ramsay and just assumed he was a total prick from what I’ve seen. I am so sorry to have judged you in such a way, sir.
This was my face the entire episode:
So much respect for Gordon Ramsay rn—I’m about halfway into the second part.
…wow. Just… Those people are scary.
My cousin lives in Scottsdale and she went there and said it was horrible and the people were SO PSYCHO. Like…I don’t even…why? /Why/?
For fucks sake, Gordon Ramsay was never a prick. The reason he gets angry and swear in a lot of his shows is that he deals with professionals who are supposed to act like they are, but make stupid beginners mistakes or don’t know what they’re supposed to be doing…
Also it’s his job??? He’s getting paid to make a spectacle.
i’ve been laughing nervously throughout the entire video this is terrifying and i may have very little respect for gordon ramsay as a cook but as a tv host he’s hilarious and i am shocked at what just happened holy sHIT???
like… what even
inspires you to
write such things
that dont make
WHAT SO EVER
I connect with this on a spiritual level.
make note that fandom blogs just had to leave their input on 4/6 of these
The same unique expression. 40 years time difference.
This is probably the greatest post I have ever seen on tumblr. Ever.
the most amazing and beautiful woman in the world
everyone needs a waving snail on their blog
i feel that if I scroll past this and don’t reblog it the snail is going to look to the ground and cry
gotta do it now
there’s some sorcery on that comment.. reblogged too..
ughh omg i have to reblog it what is this?
SORRY GUYS I TRIED SO HARD BUT I CANNOT BE THE REASON A SNAIL CRIES I JUST CANT DO IT
Let’s not forget that if a snail cries the salt in his/her tears will burn away his flesh.
i just saw this picture of shrek
and i’m laughing because it’s as if i’m about to give him a blowjob
tears are coming out of my eyes